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Plum jam

September 2, 2012
A lovely pair of plums

Pic courtesy of mashajojic (

This is a cautionary tale. Are you sitting comfortably? I’m not.

Having survived a four-day cycle trip and given myself a couple of days off the bike to allow parts of my anatomy to adjust to non-invasive seating arrangements, a few days ago I was ready to get back in the saddle.

The journey into work was uneventful, other than to remark that my legs were a bit stale. The cycle home, though, was a rather different story.

Anyone who has cycled in London will know that pedestrians tend to walk off pavements without looking. They tend to do it with cars too, so it’s not just because they can’t hear the bike coming. I was cycling towards Camden, down a busy road with three lanes of traffic, when lo and behold a man stepped out right in front of me. The only way I could avoid knocking him down was to slam my brakes on.

Before I the four-day cycle trip my bike had been serviced, which meant my brakes were actually good enough to stop in time. However, my brakes were in fact a little too good. The rear wheel left the ground (despite the back-end of the bike being weighed down with a pannier) and the whole bike went pretty close to vertical. In an effort not to be thrown off, I had automatically slid off my seat, sadly initiating handlebar-to-crotch contact.

Dear reader, I exhorted at him to kindly watch where he was going when crossing roads.

He walked on, not even looking back.

The remaining cycle home was far from comfortable; much like the past few days. Much as I’m happy to explain any running-related hobbling to colleagues, I’ve had to avoid any concerned look as I shuffled around the office walking like John Wayne. Tendonitis, fine. DOMs, awesome. Bruised balls, less so.

And so, if you’re crossing a street in London, look where you’re going. I’m going to be less predisposed to stopping at all costs the next time a pedestrian leaps into my path…

2 Comments leave one →
  1. September 5, 2012 3:20 pm

    You DEFINITELY should have used the numpty as your brake. Hope your shattered balls recover quickly old bean.

    • September 5, 2012 3:54 pm

      Much better, thanks! I’ll definitely be applying the ‘crush or be crushed’ philosophy the next time.

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